You don’t become exceptional by believing you are exceptional

We are doing a massive disservice to ourselves by handing out participation trophies. 

Both actual and metaphorical. 

By giving people rewards for not meeting the mark, whether that be with compliments, affirmations, or actual participation trophies, we are teaching them that no matter what they do or say, they all deserve praise and credit. 

This is a very slippery slope that has a clear path to cultivating entitled lives. 

And if the goal is not to win, but rather to just get better, then say so! Change the mark, change the goal. But letting everyone feel like a winner because we want to preserve temporary feelings isn’t the answer 

Children who are coddled and told they are amazing and can never do no wrong turn into spoiled and insufferable adults. It is learned at a very young age and presents itself pretty clearly in adult life if you just look a little bit. 

I would argue that getting used to failure and not missing the mark, and having the willingness to try again, is just as important as the feeling of achieving what you want. 

The trials are what counts, not the trophy. So why give everyone one if that isn’t what matters?

If someone wants to be actually exceptional, they first need to convince themself they are no better than anyone else, and then set out to earn every opportunity that could come their way. The would work like they have something to prove. 

This levels the playing field between everyone, no matter where you start. Everyone looking eye-to-eye.

And they need to surround themselves with people who tell them the truth when they really need it, and not just inflate their ego and compliment them at every turn (good friends also give compliments too, but since you know they tell the truth to you, carries more weight). I kinda call this concept “stabbing you in the front”.

Graphic, I know, but hear me out.

A good friend is the one who lets you know when you have a booger in your nose, tells you they don’t like an outfit, or if you’re acting like a moron, so you don’t look like an idiot later. They risk the friction of an uncomfortable conversation now, for, ideally, better returns in the future. 

They *lovingly* stab you in the front, where you can see, rather than in the back where you cant, and where it stings worse. 

Exceptional people have a sober and realistic view of themselves, one that includes failures and negatives, and that is what propels them upwards.

It’s a sort of anti-entitlement that drives their insanely vast desire for improvement which in turn propels them to exceptional acts. It’s almost like they look up and marvel at where they are, and EVEN STILL are insecure about their place. 

Because they never think they are truly exceptional, they will never stop working and become exceptional along the way, as if by accident.

Cheers,

Corey